


Another 'Auld Lang Syne'

by Writer_Geekgirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 07:35:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13049463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_Geekgirl/pseuds/Writer_Geekgirl
Summary: Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak meet after being apart for fifteen years. It's a bitter sweet moment for them, because Castiel's married to someone else. Can they find a way to bridge the gap?





	1. The Snow was Falling Christmas Eve

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to music when Dan Fogelberg's song, "Same Old Lang Syne," came on. It inspired me to retell the story from the song from Dean and Castiel's perspective.
> 
> (However, it completes the story a different way in the second chapter.)

It was snowing when Dean Winchester got out of his '67 Impala. He grabbed a baseball hat from his front seat and pulled it low onto his face and put on some sunglasses. He didn't want to be recognized at the grocery store in Lawrence, Kansas, on Christmas Eve. He just wanted to run in and grab the whipped cream for the pie that his sister-in-law, Jess, forgot and get the hell out. His songs had been charting for several years now and he had done a couple of tours, so he was used to downside of being a recording artist. Doing the smallest chore sometimes turned into a three-ring circus if overzealous fans noticed him.

He walked quickly through the grocery store without making eye contact with any of the other last-minute shoppers until he got near the frozen section. He then stopped, frozen in his tracks and stared at the back of the man peering intently at the frozen pies. The man was dressed in a tan trench coat, but the back of his head, the tousled dark hair, reminded Dean of his college roommate and first love, Castiel Novak. Dean shook his head. There was no way that Castiel was back in Lawrence. Castiel had left to New York City, where he had been accepted into an architectural firm that had big plans for him. Castiel had little family left in Lawrence; there'd be no way he'd return.

When there was a loud noise to his left caused by someone dropping some canned goods, the man looked in that direction. Dean felt his heart in his throat as he saw Castiel's profile look questioningly to determine what the noise was. After a moment, he turned his attention back to the pies. He opened the freezer door and pulled out a frozen cherry pie after several moments of silent contemplation. 

Dean in a daze walked towards Castiel, laying a hand on his sleeve. Castiel turned to face him, his face blank. "Can I help you?" He looked at Dean quizzically and tilted his head. 

Dean was dismayed that Castiel hadn't recognized him for a moment, but then remembered the beard he had let grow, sun glasses, and hat. He pulled off his glasses. "Cas, it's me."

Castiel's eyes flew open wide as recognition flooded his face. The pie dropped out of his hand and hit the floor, "Dean!" He smiled widely for a moment and then looked down at the pie. Both Dean and Castiel reached down to pick up the pie and bumped heads. Castiel took a step backwards as Dean retrieved the pie.

"Now, Cas, you know better than to ever let pie fall when I'm around. That's an unspeakable crime." Castiel laughed and put a hand on his shoulder. Dean met his grin and laughed too. The sound of their laughter together brought back a flood of memories from their four years together. Memories of the two of them lying in bed on their stomachs, eating cherry pie directly out of a pie tin together after finishing their finals. Rainy Sunday afternoons enjoying Dr. Sexy marathons in their boxers while curled up on the couch. Making out in the back seat of the Impala on the night before graduation. For four years of their lives, they were inseparable. Then, college had ended.

Their laughter faded as they really looked at each other for the first time in fifteen years. Dean noted the lines around Castiel's eyes that made him look tired, a touch of grey on his temples, and his perpetual five o'clock shadow that had grown more pronounced.

Dean let his hand linger on Castiel's arm. "Cas, let's go get a drink. Catch up for old time's sake."

Castiel smiled warmly, "Sure. It's been a long time. How's Sam?"

Dean turned to walk towards the checkout aisle with Castiel. Castiel pushed a cart with a few groceries in it. Dean made one quick detour to grab the whipped cream.

"Sam is fine. He became that lawyer we always thought he would. He married his college sweetheart, Jess, about four years old. They are expecting their first baby in a few months."

"Congratulations, Dean. You'll make a wonderful uncle. I know how much you love children."

Dean paused for a moment. In their what-if scenarios before they had gone their separate ways, they had talked about the possibility of adopting a child someday. Dean had practically raised Sam and wanted children of his own one day. Castiel was more resistant of that, because of his terrible childhood. It was one way that their ideas of the future had differed. Dean chuckled softly, "Yeah, well, I can spoil the hell of her and then hand her back to Sam and Jess to deal with the consequences. Being an uncle will be like being a parent with all the perks and none of the hard work."

Dean helped Castiel unload his cart. Castiel grabbed the whipped cream from Dean. "Let me get that. No use doing two transactions." Dean bagged the groceries for the checker as she checked Castiel out. Dean grabbed two of the bags, while Castiel grabbed the other two. 

Dean looked across the parking lot, trying to see if he could guess which car was Castiel's. Castiel watched Dean's confusion as he judged the cars scattered across the parking lot and smiled softly, "The green Prius, Dean."

"Figures you'd have a hybrid, Cas."

"Need to save the environment, Dean. Do you still have Baby?"

"Would you be shocked if I said yes?" Dean pointed across the parking lot to where he had parked the Impala apart from the other cars.

"I'd be shocked if you said you didn't, Dean." Castiel laughed. "That car was always your truest love."

Dean muttered, "Not always."

Castiel shot him an intense look. Time froze for a minute as the two stared at each other, naked longing in their faces.

Dean said softly, "There were burgers too."

"Of course, can't get between a Winchester and his burger." Castiel said as he looked away. He placed the groceries in the back seat of the Prius. It was cold enough that snow was falling, so the groceries would be fine in the back seat for a long time. He handed the whipped cream to Dean.

"Let's take my car and find a bar, Cas."

Castiel nodded and followed Dean to the Impala. He froze as he touched the fender on the passenger side and looked at the car nostalgically. Castiel couldn't even guess at the number of times he and Dean had ridden in the car together, or how many times they had explored the back seat together. Castiel looked up at Dean. "She looks good, Dean. Really good."

"She's my Baby, Cas."

After Dean and Castiel got in the car, Dean drove in the direction of the nearest bars he could think of. Unfortunately, they were closed this late on Christmas Eve. When Dean noticed a liquor store was still open, he ran in and got a couple of six packs. They drove back to the grocery store's parking lot. The store had closed by then and all the cars were gone, save for Castiel's Prius.

Dean opened two of the beers and handed one to Castiel. The two of them clicked the neck of the beer bottles together. "Here's to old times, Cas."

"They were good times, Dean. I miss them. We were so young then, and the world full of promise. Anything, everything seemed possible."

Both of them were quiet for a moment, staring at their beers as they drank them. The quiet was comfortable between them. They had spent many of their best moments without a word.

Castiel finally cleared his throat and looked nervously at Dean. "I got married, Dean. Her name is Amelia. I have a step-daughter named Claire. We had a mutual friend who introduced us. Amelia and Claire needed someone after her husband, Jimmy, died. I thought I needed someone," Castiel's voice trailed off.

"What about being gay, Cas? I mean I always went both ways, but you were pretty firmly set one way." Dean asked with more curiosity than bitterness.

"I thought what she didn't know wouldn't hurt us. I'd been alone a long time, and there it was -- a premade family. I'd like to say I love her, but Amelia's more a friend than anything now. Somedays not even that. Claire, though, she's a joy. I wouldn't trade her for anything. How about you?"

Dean shrugged. "I came close to thinking I found the one a few times, but it wasn't. I lived with a yoga instructor named Lisa for two years. It sort of burnt out." Lisa had always complained that Dean kept some of himself back from their relationship, that he wasn't fully committed. Dean knew it was his memories of Castiel that formed the barrier between them.

Dean glanced over at Castiel. If anything, Castiel had improved with age. His eyes were as vivid blue as they always were. "Man, Cas, you look good, really good."

Castiel's eyes met Dean's and they stared intently at each other for a few moments. Castiel cleared his throat, "I listen to your music. I buy your records. You must be doing really well. My favorite song is _Waiting in the Rain_."

"Thanks, Cas. I wrote that song about you, you know. The day you left for New York City. I stood there, waiting under that overhang at the bus stop. I watched the bus pull away with you in it, the rain falling down around me. My tears…"

"Dean, don't." Castiel's voice held an almost panicked edge to it.

"Why wouldn't you let me go with you, Cas? I would have gone with you. I would have followed you to the edge of the Earth and beyond." Dean's voice was still thick with hurt.

Castiel placed his hand on Dean's shoulder. "I couldn't let you give up your dreams. You had Sam. You had your music. Dragging you to the East Coast would have ruined that for you. You wanted to do your music. You still want to do your music."

Dean smiled dryly, "I live to perform for the audiences. I pull so much energy from the crowd, but I'm also damned tired of touring and spending half of my life in a bus or an airplane. How about you, Cas? Are you designing skyscrapers out in New York?"

Castiel looked at his lap, frowning slightly. "The architectural firm that I went to work for went out of business. It seems like they liked to cut corners on building supplies. I saw what was happening and I was worried about the safety of the buildings. I went to the regulators and blew the whistle on them. I guess I made the city a safer place, but I was jobless. No one in New York wanted to touch me. So, I came back here. I work for a company that builds duplexes and condos. I listen to people wanting to make little adjustments to the building plans someone else designed and then try to explain to them that they can't remove the load-bearing walls. I gave up everything for nothing, Dean." Castiel turned to look out the window.

Dean reached out a hand and snared Castiel's. "Not for nothing, Cas. You followed your dream."

Castiel looked at him sadly. "But I gave up you to do it."

"Who knows, maybe we would have hated each other eventually." Dean brushed Castiel's hair to try to smooth it a little, but the hair just got messier.

"I could never have hated you, Dean. I loved you."

Dean felt his mouth go dry. He opened up another two beers. Castiel took a long draft of the beer and looked out the window for a few minutes. He quietly asked, "Where do you live now?"

"I lived in Los Angeles for a while. Got picked up by a record label there after slumming it in the indie circuit for a while. I then decided I liked to do country better, so I went to Nashville. Released _Waiting in the Rain_ and it climbed the chart to number one and the rest is history. I have a really nice house there that I’m never at. I usually fly Sam and Jess out there for the holidays, but this year, with Jess pregnant, they talked me into coming to Lawrence."

"I'm glad they did." Castiel smiled at Dean shyly.

"You live in Lawrence, Cas?" 

"I have for about ten years. I drive by Sam's law practice sometimes. I've even pulled in the parking lot to ask about you a few times. I never had the nerve. After everything folded for me in New York, I didn't know where to go. One of my architecture professors put me in contact with a builder here. It's not what I wanted to do, but it pays the bills. The same professor introduced me to Amelia. We got married when Claire was one and have been together for eight years."

Dean looked at him sadly, "I wish you had stopped in to talk to Sam."

"What would I have said? I screwed up when I abandoned your brother? Where is he? I love him."

"That would have been a start."

Castiel shrugged, "It's no use to go over what could have been. We're different people now. I have responsibilities. You're a recording star. We probably wound up where we were supposed to. Some divine plan or destiny."

Dean nodded. "Yeah. I suppose."

Castiel looked at his watch. "I need to be getting home. It's after Claire's bedtime, and if I know her, her mother is letting her watch movies still. Big day, Santa tomorrow. I loved seeing you, Dean." Castiel started to pull on the door handle. 

Dean leaned over, pulled Castiel to him, and caught his lips in a kiss. For a split second, Castiel leaned into the kiss and then pulled back abruptly. "I'm sorry, Dean. I can't." Dean watched helplessly as Castiel opened the door. 

"Goodbye, Dean. I hope life always does good things for you. Good things do happen." Castiel paused with his hand in a half wave.

"Bye, Cas. If you ever need me, you know where Sam is." Dean watched as Castiel got into the Prius. Castiel gave him one last longing look and drove away. Dean called out quietly after him. "I love you."

For a moment, Dean felt like he did after college when he was standing under the overhand watching helplessly as the bus left to take Castiel to New York. He started the Impala and headed towards Sam's house. The falling snow turned into a drizzly rain.


	2. Reaching Beyond the Emptyness

One year later

Dean parked Baby in front of the grocery store on Christmas Eve. He scanned the lot for a green Prius. He sighed softly when he didn't see it and headed to the frozen food section. Sam and Jess didn't need more pies for Christmas dinner the next day, but he was here to buy one nonetheless. As he was sitting at Sam's house playing with his niece, Mary, he thought about Castiel. On a whim, he decided to drive to the grocery store.

He had tried to move on in the past year. He had dated more, but he was chasing a ghost. Knowing Castiel was married should have made things easier for him to finally put the past in a box where it should be. However, all he could think was how Castiel looked when he got out of the car. The longing in both of their eyes.

Dean stopped in front of the frozen pie section. He opened up the door and pulled out a cherry pie. He felt a hand on his sleeve.

He turned slowly to face Castiel. Blue eyes stared at him intently.

"Can I have your autograph?"

Dean looked at him blankly. "Huh?"

"I'm a huge fan of your music. Especially that song _Waiting in the Rain_. But, I have to tell you, the ending wasn't quite right."

Dean looked at him confused. The song ended with watching the love of your life driving away. "How would you change it?"

Castiel smiled. "The person leaving would realize that they made a mistake and come back for their happy ending. I mean, if the person who was still waiting, still wanted them." He looked down, shyly for a moment.

"Well, in my song, the person who is waiting will always love the person who drove away. And will wait an eternity if need be."

"Then, sixteen years isn't too long?"

"It's a mere drop in the bucket." Dean searched Castiel's face.

Castiel pulled him closer. "Can I get that kiss now?"

Dean leaned in and time stood still as they kissed one another. When they heard a voice interrupt them to tell them the store was closing in five minutes, they pulled apart.

"Amelia?" Dean asked hesitantly.

"Unsurprisingly, she left me for the professor last June. What I could give her wasn't enough and she finally realized it. I'm grateful she is happy now. We're great friends now that we aren't married. I have joint custody of Claire though because I legally adopted her when she was an infant. So, Claire and I are a package deal."

"Can't wait to meet her."

They walked hand in hand to the checkout lane, where Dean bought the pie. As they walked into the parking lot, Dean asked, "Where's the Prius?"

"At home, I Ubered here. I do, however, have these." Castiel pulled out two forks.

They got into the front seat of the Impala. "The pie is sort of still frozen, Cas." Dean handed the pie to Castiel.

"It's okay. We have all the time in the world. I love you." Castiel looked at him. He leaned over and gave Dean a long kiss.

Dean touched the side of Castiel's face and pulled back for a moment. "What if I hadn't come here?"

"I had an appointment with Sam set up for next week to work on creating a trust for Claire. I would have gone hunting for you. I am done waiting."

Dean caught Castiel's face again and kissed him. "Let's go visit Sam." Dean turned on the Impala. Over the radio, a Dan Fogelberg song played.

 _We drank a toast to innocence_  
_We drank a toast to time_  
_Reliving in our eloquence_  
_Another 'Auld Lang Syne'_


End file.
